“Boycott love. Detox just to retox. I’d promise you anything for another shot at life…Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy”

I look back through old wall posts, tumblr posts and even old pictures.  Some things from my past have been harder to move past than others, but that’s exactly what those memories are: the past.  I’m pushing myself hard this time around.  I’m going to reach my goals and then some.  Hopefully, these memories that I’m letting go won’t stay in my head too long after this.  I need to move past ALL of it.  It only gets better from here.  I’m truly blessed with some of the greatest things in life and letting go of this will only make everything that much greater :)
 

How did I ever become so blessed?  Beyond happy with where I am in life. I definitely have some of the best things :]

Tilted patella.  That’s what I have…a damn tilted patella.  I’ve been doing some very painful therapy to fix it. ugh.  Though I’ve come across this set back, so many other things are coming up, as well.  Some “friends” have fallen away while the others have been encouraging me non-stop to get through this.  I’m lucky, to say the least.  God truly has blessed me.  I may have to overcome this whole ordeal, but I know I have the most amazing people holding me together.  They’ve never let me down..and I’m just praying for the strength now.

Now that it’s out on the table

Both of us knew all along

I’ve got your lovin’ and you’ve got my song

I leave to Basic Training here in a few days.  It’s something that for a while, I never dreamed I would do.  I have so much to look forward to when I get back home.  I have something big in the works and I’m absolutely excited.  I can’t wait to be with him :)  I have all the motivation in the world to go through all of this.  It’s a new chapter in my life and I’m so happy it’s finally starting <3

I have 48 days left before I leave.  Then, I will be on a fast track to see him again.  I love hearing from him and getting to send stuff. We’ll see where all of this takes us because if it’s one thing I know for sure it’s that my feelings have not changed.

“two weeks..that’s all it took for me to fall for you”

and sometimes, I hate the fact that I can’t get you out of my head.

“I’m melting in your eyes

like my first time that I caught fire”

Every second I’m without you, I’m a mess.  I wish there were enough words to describe just how much I miss him.  We have gone through so much and I’m hoping that it all turns out to be for the best.  When will I see him again? I don’t know, but I wish I knew…it would definitely take the edge off of missing him. Stay with me, lay with me.

I wish I could have been a tad bit more prepared for all of this.

“Time’s racing, please slow down

I’ve got to find my way out

I’m hopeless but hoping my lungs won’t fail me now

‘cause I’m still breathing”

“Still Breathing”-Mayday Parade

Mayday Parade has been setting the tone for my mood lately.  My heart feels so torn.  When did we come to this?

I haven’t written in a while.  I’ve gotten in touch with some old friends, completely put everything in the past that belongs there and it feels like I’ve fallen in love tenfold.  I’ve sent him a few boxes and he’s kept me smiling.  I went to my Reception Drill…sat through a lot of briefs, took in a lot of information and got part of my uniform/PT gear.  The holidays come up and it pains me for him not to be here.  We’re getting through this though.  There have been quite a few bumps in the road, but I would go through a million of those if it meant being O.K. and deeply in love.  He’s made everything so worth it.  I’m taking a deep breath…once he comes home and I’m back from training, I’m never letting go.

when you remind me that you fall more in love with me each day, it brings me to say that we’re unstoppable and it is very well possible that this is the hardest I could fall.  I could love you forever.  Having faith becomes the perfect characteristic.  I’m gonna hold on with everything I have in me.  I promise.